Bet You, It Won't
- Customer: If I post this letter tonight, will it get to Delhi in two days time?
- Post Master: Yes sir, it definitely will.
- Customer: I bet you, it won't.
- Post Master: Why not?
- Customer: It's addressed to Mumbai.
April 2008
17 posts
Choices
- Wife: Do you want dinner?
- Husband: Sure, what are my choices?
- Wife: Yes and no.
An Absent-Minded Man and a Psychiatrist
- Man: My trouble is that I keep forgetting things.
- Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on?
- Man: How long has what been going on?
Funny Tasted Soup
- Customer: Waiter, this soup tastes funny.
- Waiter: Funny? But then why aren't you laughing?
- Man: How old is your father?
- Boy: As old as me.
- Man: How can that be?
- Boy: He became a father only when I was born.
13th Floor
- Thief #1: Oh! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window!
- Thief #2: But this is the 13th floor.
- Thief #1: Hurry! this is no time for superstitions!
Meaning
- Customer: Waiter, what's the meaning of this fly in my tea up?
- Waiter: I wouldn't know sir, I'm a waiter, not a fortune teller.
Swimming Fly
- Customer: Waiter, there's a fly swimming in my soup.
- Waiter: So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard?
Menu
- Waiter: I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.
- Customer: Don't tell me your problems. Give the menu card.
Fly
- Customer: Waiter, there's a fly in my soup.
- Waiter: That's all right sir, he won't drink much.
Beetles are Not Very Good Swimmers
- Customer: Waiter, there's a dead beetle in my soup.
- Waiter: Yes sir, they are not very good swimmers.
100
- Child: Daddy! Daddy! I got a 100 in school today!
- Daddy: That's great! Come in to the living room and tell me about it.
- Child: Well, I got 50 in spelling, 30 in maths and 20 in science.
Lamb Chop or Pork Chop
- Customer: Waiter, is this a lamb chop or pork chop?
- Waiter: Can't you tell the difference by taste?
- Customer: No, I can't.
- Waiter: Then does it really matter?
Serve Everyone
- Customer: Waiter, do you serve crabs?
- Waiter: Please sit down sir, we serve everyone.
“Man quits smoking because of will power. He quits drinking because of will power. But he quits womanizing because he has the will but no power.”
—
“A drunkard was brought to court. Just before the trial there was a commotion in the gallery. The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, “Order, order.” The drunkard immediately responded, “Thank you, your honor, I’ll have a scotch and soda.”
—
Train
- Lady: Is this my train?
- Station Master: No, it belongs to the Railway Company.
- Lady: Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to New Delhi.
- Station Master: No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy.
